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UnitedHealthcare Announces Bold New Plan To Cover Nothing

Portland
Share This ArticleMINNETONKA, MN — In a daring move sure to disrupt the healthcare industry, UnitedHealthcare unveiled its most ambitious policy...

Here Are Oregon’s 2025 James Beard Awards Finalists

Portland
The James Beard Award finalists were announced on Wednesday, April 2 in Los Angeles. For the Best Chef: Northwest and Pacific award, three Oregonians...

Heavenly Gates Swing Open After Val Kilmer Whispers “I’m Your Huckleberry” to the Intercom

Portland
Share This ArticleIn a moment theologians are already calling “the chillest entrance into the afterlife on record,” actor Val Kilmer ascended...

Middle-Aged Man Confident He ‘Still Got It’ While Mouthing Entire Limp Bizkit Verse at Red Light

Portland
Share This ArticleSPRINGFIELD, OR — Sources confirmed Wednesday that 43-year-old Tyler Blevins, divorced father of three and assistant manager at the...

Experts Agree: ‘The NeverEnding Story’ Is The Ultimate Emotional Reset Button

Portland
Share This ArticleU.S. — After decades of research, burnout, and failed coping strategies involving expensive apps and oat milk lattes, mental...

Portland’s 8 Best Rooftops for Views, Drinks, and Sun

Portland
When the sun peeks out between weeks of rain, Portlanders flock to rooftop patios to get as close to the source as possible. Along...

Tina Kotek Gets a Head Start on Earth Day by Buying a Tesla, Looks to Explain on Joe Rogan’s Show

Portland
Share This ArticleSALEM, OR — Oregon Governor Tina Kotek is shaking things up this week with a move that has left...

The Best Restaurants to Eat and Drink Around the Buckman Neighborhood

Portland
For how compact Portland can appear compared to other metropolitans, the southeast Buckman neighborhood in particular feels like an urban sprawl. It’s unlike Portland...

Portland to Roll Out Human Litter Boxes This Summer, Tackling Public Defecation Crisis

Portland
Share This ArticleIn what city officials are calling a “revolution in urban sanitation,” Portland will begin installing CrapTrap 3000™ units across...

Oregon State Scientists Baffled as Willamette River Births New Glow-in-the-Dark Creature

Portland
Share This ArticleWILLAMETTE VALLEY, OR — In a groundbreaking yet deeply unsettling discovery, scientists at Oregon State University have confirmed the...

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