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Local Meth Cook Gives Back by Providing Free ‘Science Lessons’ to Youth

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Share This ArticleEUGENE, OR — In an inspiring display of community spirit, local meth entrepreneur Travis "Sparky" Jenkins has announced a new...

Joe Biden Spotted Casually Driving Ice Cream Truck Through Downtown Portland

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Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR — In what city officials have described as "just another Tuesday," former President Joe Biden was spotted casually...

Weirdo Boldly Reads Newspaper in Public Instead of Mindlessly Doomscrolling Like the Rest of Us

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Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR — In a bizarre scene that left passersby unsettled, a local weirdo was spotted yesterday morning sitting alone...

Oregon Coast Aquarium to Launch Bold New “Swim With Sharks” Experience This Summer

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Share This ArticleNEWPORT, OR — In a bold move that experts are calling "a thrilling way to thin the tourist herd," the...

Sad: Loser Photographer Just Needs to Give it Up, Because Let’s Be Honest His Work is Trash

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Share This ArticleRoseburg, OR — In a heartbreaking but entirely predictable development, local Roseburg man Tyler McMannis reportedly spent yet another weekend...

Oregon Named Best State To Raise A Little Free-Range Anarchist With A Trust Fund

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Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR — In news that surprised absolutely no one and disappointed absolutely everyone’s grandparents, Oregon has officially been named...

Prineville Proudly Becomes First Sanctuary City for Straight White Men

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Share This ArticlePRINEVILLE, OR — In a historic move celebrated by men who still know how to change a tire, Prineville has officially declared itself...

80s Babies Rejoice As ‘From A Hose’ Bottled Water Finally Hits Store Shelves

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Share This ArticleU.S. — In a move hailed as “the greatest beverage innovation since Tang,” Crystal Stream announced today the release of...

Parents Announce Baby Was Born Seed Oil-Free, Plan to Raise Him on Rainwater and Beef Tallow

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Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR — In what health experts are calling "a medical miracle and/or a Facebook group fever dream," new parents...

New Study Finds 100% of Deer Crossing Roads Really Could Give a Crap Less

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Share This ArticleUNITED STATES — A groundbreaking new study has confirmed what drivers have long suspected: when it comes to crossing roads,...
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