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Area Man Behind on Rent Says He’s ‘Treating Himself’ While Shopping at Tiny Overpriced Hippie Grocery Store

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Share This ArticleEUGENE, OR — Despite being nearly three weeks behind on rent and actively refusing to open his banking app, local...

Kotek’s Gas Tax Jeopardy After Oregon Voters File Nearly 200,000 Signatures

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Share This ArticleA Republican-backed group has submitted nearly 200,000 signatures to Oregon election officials, a move that appears likely to block a...

Portland Clarifies River Poop Is “Different Poop” Than What Residents Dodge Downtown Daily

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Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR — City officials moved quickly Monday to clarify that the recent release of human waste into the Willamette River is not...

Portland Replaces Christmas Tree With Large Green Object, Calls New Holiday Display “Bold” and “Inclusive”

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Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR — Portland officials confirmed this week that the city has officially replaced its traditional Christmas tree with a...

Bend Named ‘Top Relocation Choice for Californians Who Don’t Understand Why Locals Hate Them’

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Share This ArticleBEND, OR — Bend has once again topped the charts as the #1 relocation destination for Californians who are baffled...

Apparently Portland Has Decided Its Christmas Tree Is No Longer a Christmas Tree

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Share This ArticlePortland’s long-running holiday tradition took on a noticeably different tone this year after city officials avoided using the phrase “Christmas...

Kotek Announces Christmas in Oregon Will Now Be Known as “Inclusive Winter Observance”

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Share This ArticleSALEM, OR — In a move that experts are calling “bold,” “innovative,” and “the most Oregon thing to ever happen,”...

Tourist Mispronounces Willamette, Immediately Deported Back to California

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Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR — A Southern California tourist was escorted to the Oregon–California border Tuesday after loudly referring to the Willamette...

State Officials Confirm Half of Oregon Thanksgiving Traffic Caused by One Toyota Prius Going 41 in a 55

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Share This ArticleSALEM, OR — In a shocking but somehow completely predictable Thanksgiving Day update, state transportation officials confirmed Thursday that roughly...

Nike Founder Drops 3 Million to Boost Republicans While Kotek Faces Bottom Tier Approval

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Share This ArticleNike founder Phil Knight has made his largest political contribution ever to Oregon Republicans with a 3 million dollar donation...
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