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Local Man Casually Stands at Edge of Lawn for 45 Minutes Just to Let Everyone Know He Did That

Share This ArticleBEND, OR — Sources confirm that 53-year-old Brian Halverson spent approximately 45 full minutes this past Saturday standing silently at...

Sad: Oregon Creamery’s Full Tub of Ice Cream Now Just a Tiny Micro-Pint Thanks to Inflation

Share This ArticleOREGON — In yet another crushing blow to dessert lovers and economic optimism, Oregon-based creamery Tillamaybe has officially replaced its...

Oregon Democrats Introduce Bill to Replace Axe Throwing With Safe Space Rubber Dart Toss

Share This ArticleSALEM, OR — Concerned that the ancient, rugged art of axe throwing may be promoting toxic masculinity, Oregon Democrats have...

M&Ms To Be Coated With Kale Slime Following New Ban on Food Dyes

Share This ArticleU.S. — In a bold new step to ensure Americans never enjoy anything ever again, candy manufacturer Mars announced that...

New Study: Meth Users Found to Be World’s Leading Experts in Unattended Tool Acquisition

Share This ArticleEUGENE, OR — A shocking new study released Monday has confirmed what many suspected all along: meth users are now...

Tina Kotek Shocks Oregon By Coming Out As Gay Moments After Coming Out As Gay

Share This ArticleSALEM, OR — In a shocking and emotional press conference that rocked the state’s political establishment to its core, Oregon...

City of Corvallis Now Requires At Least Four Pronouns to Enter City Limits

Share This ArticleCORVALLIS, OR — In a bold step toward what city leaders are calling “radical inclusion,” Corvallis has officially declared itself...

Local Dad’s Confidence Skyrockets After Snagging $24.99 Camo Shorts at Target

Share This ArticleESTACADA, OR — In a stunning transformation just in time for warmer weather, local dad Mike Reynolds reportedly achieved peak...

Oregon High Schools Lower Graduation Bar to Just Reciting the Alphabet

Share This Article“Academic equity achieved, one letter at a time,” says Governor Kotek SALEM, OR — In a bold move to address...

Hood River County Sees 3 Cases of Deadly Brain Disease with No Known Link

Share This ArticleA rare and deadly brain disease with a 100% fatality rate has now struck three people in Hood River County,...

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