Portland - Page 57

Report: Oregon Inches Closer To California In Prestigious ‘Most Expensive State To Be Broke’ List

Portland
Share This ArticleSALEM, OR — In a glowing new report released this week, Oregon has proudly climbed to the #2 position...

Crater Lake Monster Emerges Again, Blames TikTok Hikers for Eating Entire Boat Tour

Portland
Share This ArticleCRATER LAKE, OR — In a shocking but increasingly routine display of aquatic fury, the legendary Crater Lake Monster...

Finally, a Summer Theme Park Where No Kids Poop in the Lazy River and a 100% Chance of Blacking Out By Noon

Portland
Share This ArticleORLANDO, FL — A groundbreaking new theme park is making headlines for its two revolutionary promises: no children in...

Oregon DMV Orders Tesla Owners to Take Class: “Why Your Car Is Wrong And You Should Feel Bad”

Portland
Share This ArticleSALEM, OR — In response to the growing public disdain for Elon Musk and the unfortunate social consequences of...

RingSide, Portland’s Oldest Steakhouse, Is Closed After a Kitchen Fire

Portland
RingSide Steakhouse, one of Portland’s oldest and most celebrated restaurants, is closed for the time being after a fire broke out in the kitchen...

Eugene Man Sets Record For Longest Dreadlock in The World

Portland
Share This ArticleEUGENE, OR — In a shocking display of follicular fortitude, Eugene resident River Moonstone has shattered all known records...

Man’s Dignity Evaporates As Clerk Silently Points to Sign Reading ‘Porta Potty Outside’

Portland
Share This ArticleNEEDLES, CA — Oregon native Daniel Price thought he was making a quick pit stop for gas and a...

State Officials Quietly Swap Haystack Rock for Gold Man, Salem Left With a Sad, Bare Dome

Portland
Share This ArticleIn a baffling but somehow deeply Oregonian development, state officials have confirmed that the recently vacated site of Haystack Rock at Cannon...

“This Protest Sure Is Neato,” Says Man Who Hasn’t Moved More Than 6 Feet Since Clocking Out, While His Meatloaf Waits at Home

Portland
Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR — Local accountant Greg Waller, 42, expressed mild admiration through clenched teeth Thursday evening as he sat...

Cannon Beach Tuft Puffin Takes a Little Poo on Unsuspecting Tourist

Portland
Share This ArticleCANNON BEACH, Ore. – In what wildlife officials are calling “a majestic act of nature,” a tufted puffin at...

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