Portland - Page 50

This Isn’t Satire: Eugene Man Arrested After Threats With Gun-Shaped Bong in Grocery Store Parking Lot

Portland
Share This ArticleYou’d be forgiven for thinking this was another one of our ridiculous headlines—because “man with rifle-shaped bong triggers full...

Portland Solves Downtown Drug Crisis Instantly With Bold New ‘Drug-Free Zone’ Signs

Portland
Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR — In a stunning turn of events, downtown Portland’s decades-long struggle with open-air drug use has officially...

Trump Proposes New Holidays: ‘We’re the Best Day’ and ‘Other Countries Are Losers Day’

Portland
Share This ArticlePALM BEACH, FL — In a late-night post on Truth Social sandwiched between rants about wind turbines and the...

Portland Protesters Demand More Things to Protest

Portland
Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR — In a surprising show of unity, hundreds of Portland protesters gathered downtown Tuesday not to decry...

New Oregon Zip Line Debuts With Thrilling New Twist: Direct Collision With Tree

Portland
Share This ArticleBEND, OR — In what Deschutes County officials are calling “an immersive forest engagement experience,” a new zip line...

Portland’s Filipino Restaurants Are Fundraising for the Lapu Lapu Car Attack Victims

Portland
On Saturday, April 26, a car plowed through the Lapu Lapu festival in Vancouver, Canada, a celebration of Filipino culture and heritage. Eleven people...

Woman Asks If Jeans Make Her Look Fat, Already Decided They Do

Portland
Share This ArticleTUALATIN, OR — In a shocking display of emotional choreography and predetermined self-loathing, 34-year-old Heather Cline asked her boyfriend...

Pale Little Oregon Man Spotted in Tank Top; Witnesses in Troutdale Call It “Too Soon”

Portland
Share This ArticleTROUTDALE, OR — In a shocking display of seasonal overconfidence, local man Darren Melby was reportedly seen walking down...

Where to Find the Best Chinese Food in Portland

Portland
Dumplings at Jade Rabbit. | Waz Wu Chinese takeout is a classic for a reason: chewy noodles, bright stir-fries, and...

Doctors Confirm You’re Technically Still Alive, Just Tired Forever After Age 36

Portland
Share This ArticleATLANTA, GA — In a groundbreaking new report released Friday, doctors from the National Institute of Realistic Health confirmed...

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