Missing Eugene Cat Allegedly Just Blazed Out of His Mind at the Neighbors’ Place

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EUGENE, OR — A frantic search for a local feline came to a mellow conclusion Thursday afternoon after “Mittens,” a 3-year-old tabby, was located at a nearby house party, absolutely blitzed and sprawled across a bean bag chair in a dense fog of incense and weed smoke.

“We thought he was lost or maybe hit by a car,” said owner Marissa Caldwell, still shaken but increasingly irritated. “Turns out he just wandered into the neighbor’s backyard, got offered a hit off a gravity bong, and never looked back.”

Neighbors confirmed that Mittens had “been chillin’” with them since late Tuesday, after meowing outside their sliding glass door

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