Tyler James - Page 8

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Trump to Reopen Toys “R” Us as Maximum Security Prison for “Really Bad Kids”

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Share This ArticleBEDMINSTER, NJ — In a bold move to “bring back law, order, and Geoffrey the Giraffe,” former President Donald Trump...

This Oregon Coast Beach Was Ranked the Best Spot to Watch a Seagull Steal a Burrito From a Toddler

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Share This ArticleCANNON BEACH, OR — In a move that shocked no one familiar with Oregon’s coastal crime wave of airborne kleptomaniacs,...

Bend Man Completes Full Conversation Without Mentioning He Mountain Bikes

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Share This ArticleBEND, OR — In what experts are calling a “statistical anomaly” and “spiritual awakening,” local resident Tyler Hensley reportedly completed...

Oregon Drivers Celebrate Sunshine by Staring at Men Wearing Neon Vests Holding Stop Signs

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Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR — As the skies clear and temperatures begin to climb, Oregonians are once again flocking to their favorite...

Oregon Lawmakers Introduce Bill to Ban Duck Hunt Zapper: “No Civilian Needs an Orange Plastic Firearm”

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Share This ArticleSALEM, OR — In a move critics are calling “a bold leap backward,” Oregon lawmakers behind controversial gun control Measure...

Busy Mom of 3 Recommends New Meth-Infused Energy Drink “No Sketchy Sweeteners, Just Pure Speed”

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Share This ArticleGRANTS PASS, OR — In today’s chaotic world of sugar crashes, artificial additives, and PTO meetings that never end, one...

Uh Oh: Eugene Man Shocked to Learn Constitution Still Has That Gun Thing In It

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Share This ArticleEUGENE, OR — Local part-time kombucha brewer Jasper Willow-Breeze experienced what experts are calling "acute textual trauma" this week after...

This Isn’t Satire: Eugene Man Arrested After Threats With Gun-Shaped Bong in Grocery Store Parking Lot

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Share This ArticleYou’d be forgiven for thinking this was another one of our ridiculous headlines—because “man with rifle-shaped bong triggers full police...

Portland Solves Downtown Drug Crisis Instantly With Bold New ‘Drug-Free Zone’ Signs

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Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR — In a stunning turn of events, downtown Portland’s decades-long struggle with open-air drug use has officially ended—thanks...

Trump Proposes New Holidays: ‘We’re the Best Day’ and ‘Other Countries Are Losers Day’

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Share This ArticlePALM BEACH, FL — In a late-night post on Truth Social sandwiched between rants about wind turbines and the deep...
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