The Seattle Kraken Are Not Normal

There’s something inherently funny and inherently corny about an expansion sports franchise. Rosters are assembled from other team’s scraps. Traditions are invented by marketing departments out of thin air. The whole vibe is pure fake it ’til you make it—and this applies both to the team itself and fans making the conscious decision to hand their loyalty, their emotional well-being, and their money to a brand-new entity with no track record.

The most well-established way for a new team and its city to get past the feeling out period and develop the powerful psychic bonds that make sports fandom so painful and rewarding is by

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