We Can’t All Be Caeleb Dressel, But We Can All Use A Trampoline

The Summer Olympics are waiting like a stalking butler for most Americans to come home from work and not care. This is likely because most Americans are not true patriots, as evidenced by their proclivity to watch other, more interesting but way less jingoistic sports like soccer.

…Wait a second here that can’t be right, can it? Ah never mind…

Let’s just agree our citizenry is more likely to watch PGA Tour Golf, or the World Series of Poker, than the Summer Olympics. Unless they’re over 75, in which case they’re asleep in front of the Games right now. Or at least the Trials, we’re a tad

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