Texas Bans THC, Instructs Citizens to “Just Get Drunk Like God Intended”

Share This Article

AUSTIN, TX — In a bold return to the golden age of moral panic and liver damage, the Texas House passed Senate Bill 3 late Wednesday night, banning all intoxicating THC products while reaffirming the state’s unwavering belief that the only righteous way to unwind is with state-sanctioned poison.

The bill, authored by Sen. Charles Perry and carried to the altar of virtue by Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, passed 95-44 in a vote that experts say could tank an $8 billion industry—and boost the sale of boxed wine and 7-Eleven cough syrup.

“We’re protecting children and families from unregulated cannabinoids,” said Patrick, moments before slamming a shot

→ Continue reading at That Oregon Life

Related articles

Comments

Share article

Latest articles