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PORTLAND, Ore. — As Oregon heads into another triple-digit heat wave, scientists say they are mystified by a seasonal phenomenon known only as Old Boat Guy’s Popularity Spike.
According to local marina records, the silver-haired man whose first name no one can agree on experiences an exponential increase in female “friends” the moment temperatures cross into the upper 90s. By the time triple digits hit, eyewitnesses report his boat is mysteriously full of bikini-clad passengers, most of whom claim they hardly even know him.
“We have run the numbers and it does not make sense,” said Dr. Karen Hill, a climate researcher who has been tracking the
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