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PORTLAND, OR — In a shocking but deeply on-brand move, Portland officials have unveiled a towering bronze statue of Tonya Harding in the heart of Pioneer Courthouse Square — a tribute to athleticism, Oregon grit, and the art of “solving problems with a skate in hand and a don’t-mess-with-me glare.”
Cast in full mid-performance glory, the statue captures Harding with arms outstretched, one leg elegantly raised, and the unmistakable facial expression of someone who knows exactly where your kneecap is.
“She’s a local legend, and a cautionary tale,” said city spokesperson Ember Rain-Chapman. “This statue symbolizes Portland values: resilience, misunderstood intensity, and low-level chaos with national implications.”
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