Portland Replaces Christmas Tree With Large Green Object, Calls New Holiday Display “Bold” and “Inclusive”

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PORTLAND, OR — Portland officials confirmed this week that the city has officially replaced its traditional Christmas tree with a large, smooth, abstract green object, describing the new holiday display as “bold,” “inclusive,” and “a meaningful departure from tree-based expectations.”

City leaders explained that while the previous Christmas tree was beloved by some residents, it ultimately failed to reflect Portland’s evolving relationship with holidays, symbols, and objects that are perhaps too clearly defined. The replacement, officials said, is intentionally ambiguous, streamlined, and designed to invite interpretation — though several residents admitted it reminded them of something they were “pretty sure they weren’t supposed to say out loud.”

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