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SALEM, OR — In a groundbreaking effort to bring communities together through coordinated chaos, the state of Oregon has officially launched the nation’s first Hunger Games, complete with blazing wildfires, spontaneous riots, and a rotating schedule of statewide lockdowns.
Organizers say the event offers a “uniquely Oregonian survival experience,” blending the state’s most iconic disasters into a thrilling, government-sanctioned bloodsport.
“This is about unity,” said Governor Tina Kotek while standing in front of a burning Douglas fir tree. “What better way to heal political division than watching your neighbors fight to the death while trying to outrun an Antifa flash mob and a forest fire at the
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