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SPRINGFIELD, OR — After discovering that her entire week’s worth of groceries had mysteriously vanished in the dead of night, local mom Karen Delaney is beginning to suspect that her “sweet growing boy” may, in fact, be on the marijuanas.
“I don’t want to jump to conclusions,” said Karen, standing in front of her completely gutted fridge. “But when a 16-year-old eats an entire meatloaf, two boxes of cereal, three Snack Packs, a sleeve of Oreos, and what I thought was emergency lasagna, you start to ask questions.”
The incident reportedly occurred sometime around 11 p.m. Wednesday night, shortly after Tyler Delaney returned from his friend’s garage
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