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EUGENE, Ore. — What began as a quick Saturday morning run for paper towels and a rotisserie chicken has reportedly turned into a full coming-of-age saga for local father Brent Halvorsen, who aged approximately 14 years while waiting for a front-row parking spot at Costco.
Witnesses say Halvorsen entered the parking lot at 10:42 a.m., optimistic, hydrated, and full of purpose. By 11:03, he had entered what experts describe as “the hover phase,” slowly stalking a shopper loading bulk LaCroix into their SUV while pretending not to apply pressure.
By 11:19, the shopper’s cousin appeared.
By 11:47, the cousin began reorganizing the trunk.
By noon, Halvorsen had
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