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BANDON, OR — In what authorities are calling “the least surprising twist in an already shocking investigation,” a raccoon that recently escaped from the embattled West Coast Game Park Safari was discovered Tuesday night hunched behind a Dollar Tree, clutching a meth pipe and muttering about “deep state zookeepers.”
The raccoon, now unofficially named Tweaky, had been missing for several days following a police raid on the roadside zoo that uncovered 80 grams of meth, 44 firearms (including one machine gun), $1.6 million in cash and cashier’s checks, and a tiger corpse chilling next to the animal food.
Witnesses say they saw Tweaky pacing behind the store
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