Local Man Now Glows in the Dark Like a Human Glow Stick After Swim in Willamette River

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PORTLAND, Ore. — What started as a casual afternoon swim in the Willamette River ended with one local man unintentionally becoming Portland’s newest source of renewable energy.

Witnesses say 34-year-old Derek Morrison emerged from the Kelly Point Park section of the river last Tuesday “radiating a soft green hue” that could be seen from at least three blocks away. At first, friends thought it was the sun reflecting off his skin — until they realized the sun had set over an hour earlier.

“I thought he had one of those LED festival outfits on,” said bystander Chloe Ramirez. “Then I realized… no, that’s just Derek. He’s literally

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