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SALEM, OR — With Oregon’s budget once again disappearing into what experts are calling “a large cosmic anomaly in Salem,” Governor Tina Kotek proudly unveiled her brand-new “Wheel of New State Taxes” at a press conference Thursday.
The massive carnival-style wheel, adorned with bizarre new revenue ideas like “Trailhead Selfie Tax” and “Pumpkin Patch Tractor Ride Surcharge,” will be spun weekly by state officials whenever Oregon discovers more billions have been sucked into the mysterious black hole of spending located directly beneath the Capitol rotunda.
According to Kotek’s office, the Trailhead Selfie Tax will ensure hikers who clog Instagram with identical Multnomah Falls photos finally “pay their
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