First American Pope Wears Cowboy Hat

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VATICAN CITY — In a historic and deeply confusing moment for the Catholic Church, newly appointed Pope Robert I — the first American pope in history — made his debut Wednesday morning atop the balcony of St. Peter’s Basilica wearing a beige cowboy hat and a soft Midwestern grin.

The hat, which Vatican aides confirmed was “absolutely not part of the papal wardrobe,” immediately replaced the traditional white zucchetto — the small skullcap worn by popes for centuries — and sent shockwaves through the global Catholic community.

“We thought he might bring a different perspective,” said Cardinal Lorenzo Spagetti. “We just didn’t expect that perspective to come

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