Share This Article
PORTLAND, OR — In a city where expressing even the slightest nuance can result in immediate social exile, local man Brian Callahan has reportedly survived another week in Portland without being outed as a moderate — thanks to a carefully rehearsed “blank, vaguely empathetic stare” he now deploys whenever someone goes off about capitalism, cis-heteronormativity, or why rent should be illegal.
“I used to make the mistake of nodding thoughtfully,” said Callahan, 38, “but then someone assumed I agreed that breathing without guilt is an act of privilege. That was a close call.”
Friends and acquaintances say they’ve never suspected Brian might be a both-sides-ing centrist scumlord,
→ Continue reading at That Oregon Life