Share This Article
NEWPORT, OR — For years, coastal visitors have suspected foul play when it comes to the mysterious yet highly strategic poop splatters appearing on their vehicles after a peaceful day at the beach. Today, in a shocking and unprecedented confession, Newport’s seagull community has finally come clean: yes, they are doing it on purpose.
Speaking exclusively with a particularly smug-looking seagull named Randy, we uncovered the truth behind the avian aerial assault that has plagued car owners for generations. “Oh yeah, we got a whole system,” Randy admitted between bites of a stolen French fry. “See, we scope out the parking lot first. If it’s dull, dusty,
→ Continue reading at That Oregon Life