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PORTLAND, OR — State and local officials held a brief but tense press conference Wednesday morning to address growing public concern over a bright yellow thing that has remained visible in the sky for a third consecutive day.
“This is not an emergency,” officials repeated, while standing under a cloudless blue sky and squinting noticeably. “There is no cause for alarm. Residents are urged to stay calm and avoid prolonged eye contact with the phenomenon.”
Experts believe the object is the sun, a rarely observed celestial body in Oregon most commonly documented through grainy photographs taken during traffic jams or while someone says, “Quick, get outside.”
“We
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