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HOOD RIVER, OR — In what experts are calling the most emotionally devastating swipe in Oregon history, Bigfoot has officially joined Tinder with a bio so powerful it has women across the Pacific Northwest dumping their boyfriends mid-swipe.
The bio in question?
“I chop wood and disappear like your dad.”
Within minutes of the account going live, screenshots flooded Instagram stories and group chats titled things like “unwell rn,” “he gets me,” and “brb deleting Tyler.”
“I haven’t felt this seen since the barista remembered my name,” said Ashley M., 29, of Eugene. “He’s hairy, mysterious, emotionally unavailable, and somehow smells like cedar and unspoken trauma? Say
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