Bend Locals Say Fall Didn’t Officially Begin Until Patagonia Over Flannel Guy Walked Drake Park With Coffee

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BEND, OR — Despite what the calendar claims, residents say autumn didn’t truly begin until a smug Bend man in Patagonia over flannel strutted through Drake Park this weekend, clutching a $7 latte like it was the Olympic torch of fall.

Witnesses describe the moment as a defining seasonal shift.

“The second he walked by, a gust of crisp air hit me in the face, and suddenly every tree turned bright orange at once,” said Kelly Hart, a local who nearly dropped her Hydro Flask in awe. “I swear the ducks bowed.”

Others compared him to Bend’s version of Punxsutawney Phil — the groundhog that predicts spring.

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