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U.S. — In a move described by many as a “direct attack on poor decision-making,” Jack in the Box has announced the closure of dozens of its locations across the country, sending shockwaves through the nation’s drunk and deeply hungry population.
Once hailed as the last beacon of greasy hope between the hours of 1AM and 4AM, Jack in the Box was more than just a fast-food chain—it was a sanctuary for the sauced. A sacred temple where slurred speech and bad ideas were not only welcomed, but expected.
Now, with the chain pulling down its steel drive-thru shutters for good in key cities, the intoxicated masses
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