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M&Ms To Be Coated With Kale Slime Following New Ban on Food Dyes

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Share This ArticleU.S. — In a bold new step to ensure Americans never enjoy anything ever again, candy manufacturer Mars announced that...

New Study: Meth Users Found to Be World’s Leading Experts in Unattended Tool Acquisition

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Share This ArticleEUGENE, OR — A shocking new study released Monday has confirmed what many suspected all along: meth users are now...

Tina Kotek Shocks Oregon By Coming Out As Gay Moments After Coming Out As Gay

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Share This ArticleSALEM, OR — In a shocking and emotional press conference that rocked the state’s political establishment to its core, Oregon...

City of Corvallis Now Requires At Least Four Pronouns to Enter City Limits

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Share This ArticleCORVALLIS, OR — In a bold step toward what city leaders are calling “radical inclusion,” Corvallis has officially declared itself...

Local Dad’s Confidence Skyrockets After Snagging $24.99 Camo Shorts at Target

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Share This ArticleESTACADA, OR — In a stunning transformation just in time for warmer weather, local dad Mike Reynolds reportedly achieved peak...

Oregon High Schools Lower Graduation Bar to Just Reciting the Alphabet

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Share This Article“Academic equity achieved, one letter at a time,” says Governor Kotek SALEM, OR — In a bold move to address...

Hood River County Sees 3 Cases of Deadly Brain Disease with No Known Link

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Share This ArticleA rare and deadly brain disease with a 100% fatality rate has now struck three people in Hood River County,...

Pope Urges Stoners for Christ to Blaze Responsibly This Easter Sunday

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Share This ArticleVATICAN CITY — As Easter Sunday and 4/20 prepare to overlap in a once-in-a-generation holy smokes collision, Pope Francis issued...

Oregon Voted #1 Place To Live In A Van Down By The River

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Share This ArticleSALEM, OR — In a groundbreaking new report released Thursday, Oregon has officially been named the number one state in...

Visitors Confirm: Enchanted Forest Hits Way Harder on Shrooms Than as a Kid

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Share This ArticleTURNER, OR — Longtime fans of Oregon’s beloved Enchanted Forest theme park are reporting that while the park was “kinda...
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