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New Study: Meth Users Found to Be World’s Leading Experts in Unattended Tool Acquisition

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Share This ArticleEUGENE, OR — A shocking new study released Monday has confirmed what many suspected all along: meth users are now...

Tina Kotek Shocks Oregon By Coming Out As Gay Moments After Coming Out As Gay

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Share This ArticleSALEM, OR — In a shocking and emotional press conference that rocked the state’s political establishment to its core, Oregon...

City of Corvallis Now Requires At Least Four Pronouns to Enter City Limits

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Share This ArticleCORVALLIS, OR — In a bold step toward what city leaders are calling “radical inclusion,” Corvallis has officially declared itself...

Local Dad’s Confidence Skyrockets After Snagging $24.99 Camo Shorts at Target

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Share This ArticleESTACADA, OR — In a stunning transformation just in time for warmer weather, local dad Mike Reynolds reportedly achieved peak...

Oregon High Schools Lower Graduation Bar to Just Reciting the Alphabet

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Share This Article“Academic equity achieved, one letter at a time,” says Governor Kotek SALEM, OR — In a bold move to address...

Hood River County Sees 3 Cases of Deadly Brain Disease with No Known Link

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Share This ArticleA rare and deadly brain disease with a 100% fatality rate has now struck three people in Hood River County,...

Pope Urges Stoners for Christ to Blaze Responsibly This Easter Sunday

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Share This ArticleVATICAN CITY — As Easter Sunday and 4/20 prepare to overlap in a once-in-a-generation holy smokes collision, Pope Francis issued...

Oregon Voted #1 Place To Live In A Van Down By The River

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Share This ArticleSALEM, OR — In a groundbreaking new report released Thursday, Oregon has officially been named the number one state in...

Visitors Confirm: Enchanted Forest Hits Way Harder on Shrooms Than as a Kid

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Share This ArticleTURNER, OR — Longtime fans of Oregon’s beloved Enchanted Forest theme park are reporting that while the park was “kinda...

Oregonians Gently Reminded It’s Been Too Damn Long Since They Watched Stand By Me

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Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR — In a quiet yet deeply emotional statewide advisory issued Monday morning, Oregonians were lovingly reminded that it...
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