Mourning doves are murderous, evil little birds bent on our destruction. They fly onto our windowsills at night like stalkers, attempting to peek between our blinds with their beady little black eyes to determine our specific location, report it back to the flock, then find a weak spot in our domiciles (typically plumbing vents, chimneys, windows teenagers leave open despite repeated conversations about the importance of closing them “because we said so,” and doggy-doors), and attack in a “swarm o’ doves” as the phrase goes, ineffectually pecking at us with their teeny tiny beaks, yet truly bringing terror to our souls.
Which is precisely why Washington State,
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