Portland - Page 87

Heavenly Gates Swing Open After Val Kilmer Whispers “I’m Your Huckleberry” to the Intercom

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Share This ArticleIn a moment theologians are already calling “the chillest entrance into the afterlife on record,” actor Val Kilmer ascended...

Middle-Aged Man Confident He ‘Still Got It’ While Mouthing Entire Limp Bizkit Verse at Red Light

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Share This ArticleSPRINGFIELD, OR — Sources confirmed Wednesday that 43-year-old Tyler Blevins, divorced father of three and assistant manager at the...

Experts Agree: ‘The NeverEnding Story’ Is The Ultimate Emotional Reset Button

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Share This ArticleU.S. — After decades of research, burnout, and failed coping strategies involving expensive apps and oat milk lattes, mental...

Portland’s 8 Best Rooftops for Views, Drinks, and Sun

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When the sun peeks out between weeks of rain, Portlanders flock to rooftop patios to get as close to the source as possible. Along...

Tina Kotek Gets a Head Start on Earth Day by Buying a Tesla, Looks to Explain on Joe Rogan’s Show

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Share This ArticleSALEM, OR — Oregon Governor Tina Kotek is shaking things up this week with a move that has left...

The Best Restaurants to Eat and Drink Around the Buckman Neighborhood

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For how compact Portland can appear compared to other metropolitans, the southeast Buckman neighborhood in particular feels like an urban sprawl. It’s unlike Portland...

Portland to Roll Out Human Litter Boxes This Summer, Tackling Public Defecation Crisis

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Share This ArticleIn what city officials are calling a “revolution in urban sanitation,” Portland will begin installing CrapTrap 3000™ units across...

Oregon State Scientists Baffled as Willamette River Births New Glow-in-the-Dark Creature

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Share This ArticleWILLAMETTE VALLEY, OR — In a groundbreaking yet deeply unsettling discovery, scientists at Oregon State University have confirmed the...

Oregon Man’s Depression Downgraded from “Crippling” to “Moody” After Full Day of Sunshine

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Share This ArticleCreswell, OR — In what mental health experts are calling “a minor miracle” and “the emotional equivalent of unclenching...
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