Portland - Page 69

Northwesterners Eagerly Await That First Deep Breath of Campfire-Flavored Air

Share This ArticleEVERYWHERE, PACIFIC NORTHWEST — As summer inches closer and the scent of dry pine needles crisps in the warming...

Jollibee Is Opening This Week — For Real This Time

There was a kerfuffle online where fans of Jollibee, the Filipino-founded fast food chain, believed the first Portland area outpost would open during the...

Butte Creek Fire Marks Oregon’s First Major Wildfire of 2025 as State Braces for Scorching Summer

Share This ArticleWHEELER COUNTY, Ore. — The Butte Creek Fire has become Oregon’s first major wildfire of the 2025 season, erupting...

Extreme Centrist Portlander Avoids Detection After Perfecting Blank Stare During Political Rants

Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR — In a city where expressing even the slightest nuance can result in immediate social exile, local...

Americans Discover WNBA Still Exists While Pretending They’ve Always Cared About WNBA

Share This ArticleIn a truly heartwarming display of performative activism, Americans everywhere have suddenly discovered the WNBA is still a thing—and...

Florence Erects Statue of Exploding Whale, Immediately Blows It Up for Historical Accuracy

Share This ArticleFlorence, Oregon – In a heartwarming tribute to Oregon’s most explosive historical moment, the city of Florence unveiled a...

Oregon Officials Propose Setting Fire to Money Directly

Share This ArticleSALEM, OR — In a bold new plan, Oregon leaders say they have finally figured out how to fix...

Texas Bans THC, Instructs Citizens to “Just Get Drunk Like God Intended”

Share This ArticleAUSTIN, TX — In a bold return to the golden age of moral panic and liver damage, the Texas...

Acclaimed Mexican Restaurant República Is Getting a New Chef, and a New Menu Format

One of Portland’s most acclaimed restaurants is changing things up and bringing in a new chef to lead the kitchen. On Thursday, June 12,...

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