Portland - Page 69

Northwesterners Eagerly Await That First Deep Breath of Campfire-Flavored Air

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Share This ArticleEVERYWHERE, PACIFIC NORTHWEST — As summer inches closer and the scent of dry pine needles crisps in the warming...

Jollibee Is Opening This Week — For Real This Time

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There was a kerfuffle online where fans of Jollibee, the Filipino-founded fast food chain, believed the first Portland area outpost would open during the...

Butte Creek Fire Marks Oregon’s First Major Wildfire of 2025 as State Braces for Scorching Summer

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Share This ArticleWHEELER COUNTY, Ore. — The Butte Creek Fire has become Oregon’s first major wildfire of the 2025 season, erupting...

Extreme Centrist Portlander Avoids Detection After Perfecting Blank Stare During Political Rants

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Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR — In a city where expressing even the slightest nuance can result in immediate social exile, local...

Americans Discover WNBA Still Exists While Pretending They’ve Always Cared About WNBA

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Share This ArticleIn a truly heartwarming display of performative activism, Americans everywhere have suddenly discovered the WNBA is still a thing—and...

Florence Erects Statue of Exploding Whale, Immediately Blows It Up for Historical Accuracy

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Share This ArticleFlorence, Oregon – In a heartwarming tribute to Oregon’s most explosive historical moment, the city of Florence unveiled a...

Oregon Officials Propose Setting Fire to Money Directly

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Share This ArticleSALEM, OR — In a bold new plan, Oregon leaders say they have finally figured out how to fix...

Texas Bans THC, Instructs Citizens to “Just Get Drunk Like God Intended”

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Share This ArticleAUSTIN, TX — In a bold return to the golden age of moral panic and liver damage, the Texas...

Acclaimed Mexican Restaurant República Is Getting a New Chef, and a New Menu Format

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One of Portland’s most acclaimed restaurants is changing things up and bringing in a new chef to lead the kitchen. On Thursday, June 12,...
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