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SALEM, OR — Oregon Governor Tina Kotek issued a stern holiday warning this week, announcing that residents who oppose her latest tax bill should not expect to find Christmas presents under the tree this year, calling the measure “a necessary sacrifice for the greater good and also for leverage.”
“Look, no one wants to cancel Christmas,” Kotek said at a press conference held beside a visibly wilted Douglas fir. “But if Oregonians insist on resisting responsible revenue solutions, then yes, Santa will be reallocating his resources. That’s just math.”
According to the governor’s office, the new tax proposal is essential to maintaining basic state services, including road
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