Share This Article
PORTLAND, OR — A Southern California tourist was escorted to the Oregon–California border Tuesday after loudly referring to the Willamette River as the “Will-Uh-Mah-Tee,” a pronunciation so catastrophically off-base that officials classified it as an “Immediate Deportation Scenario.”
The incident occurred inside a downtown Portland food hall, where the tourist — identified only as “Brad from Huntington Beach” — pointed at a mural and confidently said, “Hey babe, look, it’s the Will-Uh-Mah-Tee River!”
Witnesses described the moment as “chilling.”
“He said it like he was naming an exotic smoothie,” one local recalled, still visibly shaken. “I dropped my kombucha. It shattered everywhere. The trauma’s real.”
Within seconds,
→ Continue reading at That Oregon Life