Trump Sends Troops to Portland, Still No Word If Epstein Files Are Hidden in ICE Basement

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PORTLAND, Ore. — In what officials are calling “Operation Basement Sweep,” President Trump doubled down on his commitment to locate the alleged Epstein files, personally insisting they are buried somewhere beneath Portland’s ICE facility.

The same president who just months ago dismissed the scandal as a “Democrat hoax” and “totally irrelevant” now reportedly wakes up every morning demanding updates on “the papers in the basement.” Sources close to the White House say he has begun pacing the Oval Office muttering phrases like “basement… Epstein… big discovery, huge,” and instructing generals to “check under every janitor’s mop bucket.”

“The files are there. Everyone knows it. The best

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