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PORTLAND, OR — Pausing mid-sip of his single-origin espresso, a tattooed, bearded local man in a plain white tee confirmed Friday that coffee “just hits different” when the leaves outside are crunchy.
“This is the season I train for,” said the man, seated at his usual café table with a glass of sparkling water untouched beside him, as if he were starring in an indie film about artisan baristas. “You don’t drink coffee in fall, you experience it. The notes of cinnamon, the beanie vibes, the faint sound of soggy leaves sticking to people’s shoes—it’s basically Portland Christmas.”
Witnesses report the man adjusted his Apple Watch to
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