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WASHINGTON, D.C. — As tensions between India and Pakistan escalated into open conflict this week, something miraculous happened in the United States: millions of Americans experienced their first peaceful morning without a single scam call about their car’s extended warranty, a suspicious Amazon order, or “urgent legal action” from the IRS.
Officials at the FCC were initially baffled by the sudden radio silence. “We thought maybe our anti-robocall legislation had finally worked,” said Chairman Brent “Do Not Disturb” Larson. “Then we remembered we’ve never actually enforced any of that, so… no.”
Analysts quickly traced the drop in scam activity to a full-scale military engagement unfolding half a
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