Oregon Drivers Celebrate Sunshine by Staring at Men Wearing Neon Vests Holding Stop Signs

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PORTLAND, OR — As the skies clear and temperatures begin to climb, Oregonians are once again flocking to their favorite summer destination: the driver’s seat of a stationary vehicle, parked on a half-paved road, silently observing a group of neon-clad men holding STOP signs like sacred relics of transportation authority.

“It’s just tradition,” said Beaverton resident Kyle Whitmore, gently wiping sweat from his upper lip while sitting motionless on Highway 26 for the third consecutive hour. “The sun’s out, the cones are out, and there’s a guy standing there like a traffic god deciding who is worthy to pass. I love it.”

The neon vest men, whose

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