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BEND, OR — In what experts are calling a “statistical anomaly” and “spiritual awakening,” local resident Tyler Hensley reportedly completed an entire five-minute conversation on Friday without once mentioning that he mountain bikes.
The exchange took place at a local coffee shop known for single-origin espresso and judgmental baristas. Witnesses say the conversation started innocently, with a fellow customer complimenting Tyler’s Patagonia fleece. “Thanks,” Hensley replied. “It’s warm.” And that was it. No immediate segue into tire pressure, dropper posts, or the time he shredded Phil’s Trail in suboptimal conditions.
“I was stunned,” said barista Kendra Morgan. “I was waiting for the words ‘full suspension’ or ‘Strava
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