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ESTACADA, OR — In a stunning transformation just in time for warmer weather, local dad Mike Reynolds reportedly achieved peak seasonal confidence Thursday afternoon after purchasing a pair of $24.99 camo cargo shorts from the Target clearance rack.
Witnesses say Reynolds, 43, strutted out of the store parking lot like a man who had just conquered a mountain—or at least a solid deal on breathable thighwear.
“These things are straight fire,” Reynolds declared, unironically, while tossing the receipt into the passenger seat of his F-150 and adjusting his Bluetooth earpiece. “I might wear ‘em straight through September. Maybe October if the weather holds.”
Reynolds, who resides in
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